She's on fire!
by HuffyTheCampfireSlayer
Summary: A humourous look at Clark's first blast of heat vision. Lana fans might not like...


Title: She's on fire!  
  
Author: HuffyTheCampfireSlayer  
  
Rating: G  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters in the WBs TV show 'Smallville'. I am simply borrowing them for a bit for my own entertainment. No profit will be made from this story. So please don't sue me. A TM goes out to Omar G and TwoP's "The Lana Game", which can be found at www.televisionwithoutpity.com LANA LOVERS LOOK AWAY NOW! If you are a Lana lover and you do continue to read, then remember it is just a bit of fun and isn't meant to be taken seriously by ANYONE and it is *not* how I feel about KK.  
  
Background: Ok, this is starts a bit abruptly, but it was actually a post on messageboard that got carried away (we were discusssing which power Clark would get next and everyone seemed to agree on heat vision). But it was funny so I thought I'd develop it into a mini-fic. I got inspired by a friend saying: "I still want Clark to burn Lana's hair on accident and they play the song 'She's on Fire' by Train". So that was my inspiration.  
  
Summary: So basically. It is a fanfic about Clark's first blast of heat vision.  
  
***  
  
Clark's eyes start to feel warm, but he ignores it. He has more important things on his mind. Lana. Suddenly gets heat lasers shooting out of his eyes as he's watching her talk to Whitney in the hallways.  
  
Lana: What's that burning smell?  
  
*'She's on Fire' by Train starts to play in the background*  
  
Whitney: I don't know. Smells like something's burning. Proabably the chem lab. I wouldn't worry about it.  
  
Lana feels the heat on her back.  
  
Lana: *screams, oh no. Damn. Lana can't act. We'll just have to go for talking loudly instead* Oh My GOSH! MY HAIR! MY HAIR! MY BEAUTIFUL RAVEN HAIR!  
  
Lana runs around flailling her arm around in the air, half-heartedly.  
  
Whitney: LANA! *get's water from the drinking fountain and throws it over her*  
  
Lana: Now my top is ruined. My parent's gave me this top! I wore it before I changed into my fairy princess costume, which was moments before they *DIED*. And my hair is *still* on fire!  
  
Whitney: Wait a minute. U-turn! Your parent's are DEAD? When did this happen? You should have mentioned it. Poor Lana. Is that why you wear your necklace. It's made of meteor rock isn't it? Like the one that smooshed your parents? Does that mean they're *gasps* *DEAD*?  
  
Lana: *talks loudly* MY HAIR, MY HAIR!  
  
Lana's acting coach decides to make an appearence.  
  
Acting coach: Hi I'm here to coach a *reads off of his letter* "Kristin Kreuk". She's going to be Lana Lang on Smallville. Sorry I'm 15 episodes too late. I got lost and couldn't read the French signs here in Canada. So where shall I start?  
  
Producer: Well you could start by telling her to scream a bit.  
  
Acting coach, who from here on shall be known as AC, shakes Lana.  
  
AC: EMOTE DAMN YOU! EMOTE. JUST YELL!  
  
Lana: What's my line...I mean motivation?  
  
Producer: Damn straight, it's motivation. This isn't Buffy:tVS you know! (series 2 episode name- Ed.)  
  
AC scratches his head.  
  
AC: How about this? Neturogena called. They've got a new model for their adverts.  
  
Lana: *screams* NOOOOOOOO! AHHHHHHHH! THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING!  
  
Producer: Better. Good job AC.  
  
AC: No problem.  
  
Producer: Ahem. Anyway, where were we? Lana you got you're motivation?  
  
Lana nods on the brink of tears, her hair still burning.  
  
Producer: 5...4...3...[2]...[1]...ACTION!  
  
Lana: NOOOOOOO! NOOOOOOOOO! MY HAIR, MY HAIR! WITHOUT MY NEUTROGENA PRODUCTS I'LL DIE!  
  
Producer shrugs.  
  
Producer: Oh well. It's better than what we had before. Continue rolling film.  
  
Clark: OH NO LANA!  
  
Runs over to her, knocking her to the ground, and puts out the flames.  
  
Lana gets up, drenched and with the left-side of her hair fried.  
  
Producer: Excellent. This will be a great-Clark gets another power unexpectedly-scene. Make-up you did a great job with the hair! Kristin you can go and take the wig off now honey.  
  
KK: What wig? Oh noooooo! My hair! I'm going to lose my neutrogena contract *sobs uncontrollably*  
  
Producer: Didn't anyone tell you? You were supposed to wear a wig.  
  
KK: *pouts* It didn't match my natural hair colour so I didn't wear it.  
  
Producer: *sigh* At least the Clark/Lana fans will like the fact that Clark got some Lana action, or sorts.  
  
- The End - 


End file.
